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Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . (croud cheers) #10. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force parents. A: The big ten. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. It is original material for the most part. A: David Frost. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. . We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. . Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php A: Burn the candle at both ends. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. Murine? A: The four musketeers. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. I forgot aboutyour total recall. Oh, I forgot! The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. Welcome once again, O Great Sage. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. Watch now: Free with ads. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! us? Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. A: That darn cat. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. A: O'Hare. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. Commissary. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? A: Trapper John. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. The segment included several running gags. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. A: High rollers. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. . The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. A: Sueeee, sueeee. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. "Oh, Carnac the Magnificent - Wikipedia The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! Hand made. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. . http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. "Knickerbocker"Q. "You Light Up My Life.". A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . Carnac The Magnificent: Now The Answers To 2011s Unknown Questions How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Line: 107 Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? [1] 1952? The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] plunger. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. Feel free to laugh, but beware! Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. sister's hooped skirt. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Fort Knox. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. A: SAG Strike. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Carson 500's, The 1985. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. Q: Name a Kristofferson. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Clarnac: May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? A: Mr. Coffee. Explanation of WPA. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. KeyCastr. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. . Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? . Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. drip. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? A: The Orient express. . Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. [1] Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? Sacred Marvels: 17 Cathedrals That Will Take Your Breath Away, In Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Story. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? by ThomasFay. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. a #2 mayonnaise . , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Line: 479 Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. Q: What do crabs get high on? , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? alley? The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. A little hard to keep on. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? The Answer: Sam Quint, Jonah, and Osama Bin Laden. Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. Can't decide?

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