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He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 26. Laughter can help you see the humor in otherwise grim situations. He who laughs last didnt get it. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #affirmations, #affirmation, #funnyaffirmation, #dailyaffirmations, #affirmationsoftheday, # . Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Friends buy you food. 9. 254. 40 Short Positive Affirmations + Free Printable - Dare Your Lifestyle "Who you are inside is what helps you make and do everything in life". 20 Positive Affirmations You Can Use to Inspire Your Life - Mindvalley Blog Enjoy! I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 151. 20. Read next: 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset, Posted on Published: January 26, 2023- Last updated: January 27, 2023, Home 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, Fabulous List Of 120 Cute Names To Call Your Crush, 120 Follow Your Dreams Quotes To Keep You On The Track. It makes them so damned mad. 201. no rich foods. 21. Use them throughout the day whenever you experience negative thoughts. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know. We all have those days when we feel like the world is coming to an end. 186. Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. Share them with your friends and colleagues and make them smile too. Oh sheet! Repeat the affirmation as many times as you see fit. I am here to live to the fullest. 46. Pleasing everyone, thats impossible. Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. Breasts dont have eyes. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. 14. 166. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. I am capable of eating a family-sized bag of chips. Make it inspiring. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. 214. I see the funny side of life more and more. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. A backbone. Alison Boulter What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 164. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.". 130. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. My jokes do. Think about all the things you're struggling with in your life. I dont want to fix my spending habits. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 79. 193. I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am hot!, 14. I focus on breathing and grounding myself. Run. It may feel useless but just get into it. You cant have everything, where would you put it? No one can make me feel my jokes are bad. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? You can use affirmations to alleviate pressure in highly stressful scenarios, like taking an exam or going to a job interview. Top 10 Funny Affirmations For Self-Esteem, Funny Daily Affirmations To Boost Your Energy, Funny Positive Affirmations For Confidence, 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, 90 Inspiring & Funny Quotes About Ageing Gracefully, 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 28. 269. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield., 10. Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time., See also: 210 Killer Self Love Captions For Instagram To Lift You Up. 123. 4. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. 17. I have a new hairstyle today, its called I tried. Here is a list for you that has all the funny affirmations: I am making myself laugh every time I say any sarcastic word. 92. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. A quote to live by for when life gets bitter. Short Funny Quotes. 1. 5. 261. I didnt fall, Im just spending some quality time with the floor. You might use humor as a coping mechanism. 35. 197. The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. 224. Your words become your actions. I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. How do astronomers organize a party? I didnt want to interrupt her. Dont drink to forget me, youll end up seeing me double. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. I am not only pretty but also pretty awesome, pretty smart, and pretty kind. 50. 52. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. The only power you have is the word no. No, but April may. 215. Bill Murray, 257. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting!, 15. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. I ve had great success using daily affirmations for my personal development. I didnt give you the finger, you earned it. Enjoy! The thing is, I am still getting ready. When, in fact, we must be optimistic and supportive of ourselves. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. 206. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul. 180. "Disconnect to connect.". I choose to stop obsessing about my body. 55. Breasts dont have eyes. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Life doesnt have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. 148. Yeah, so is a grenade. I know the best time to make fun. 51. 168. Its not important to win, its important to make the other guy lose. New year, new me. Snowballs. I don't entertain negativity in any shape or form. You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. I breathe in and out. 15. Discover funny affirmations 's popular videos | TikTok I understand success cant happen overnight. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. You wanna know who Im in love with? Steven Alexander Wright Using affirmations can significantly impact your outlook on life, but saying such serious statements to yourself can often make you feel silly. Henny Youngman 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. Socrates. Start as soon as you wake up in the morning. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. 154. 170. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. 40. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat., 10. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. 176. 97. happy. Really? Required fields are marked *. Have a look! I dont think thats a coincidence. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 34. Some when they enter, some when they leave. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. - TS Eliot. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. Good morning! If you have crazy friends you have everything youll ever need. 68. Be careful when you follow the masses. I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. Can February march? I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. 78. Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but Im still going to keep looking. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know I am on a seafood diet. Rodney Dangerfield, 198. They make you change without hurting your self-esteem. George Burns I can believe in myself for 5 minutes. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Dear Monday, my mama doesn't like you and she likes everyone. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. And a funny bone., 10. Good morning! I can have peace, even when people irritate me.. 121. 175. Stuart Turner I want to afford them., 2. Life is always rocky when youre a gem. It will have a positive effect on your mind and body, and form an association between affirmations and a happy feeling. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Whenever I get back home, I lose all the superpowers that I had when with friends. I am way dumb than my mom keeps blabbering about me to the neighbors aunt. Sometimes I am so freaking awesome, I blow my own mind. 137. Focus on the positives and be grateful. 65. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 77. Allow your body to absorb the positivity of your words by repeating them to yourself. 64. Walking into a room and then forgetting why I am here is my daily cardio. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Love your enemies. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. How do you count cows? 10 Funny Affirmations That Will Put A Smile On Your Face - QuoteReel 143. I dont suffer from insanity. 10. Bill Murray. 250. 149. In between, I am alive. 9. People only rain on my parade because they are jealous of my sun and tired of their shade., 14. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 142. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. 2. These little phrases can be said aloud or written down anywhere to remind yourself that everything will turn out okay. 151. Look, youre smiling! Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. 1. You cant have everything, where would you put it? Franklin Jones Bill Murray, 258. I release all shame about my body. 26. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. Emphasis on the cool. 267. 7. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Steven Wright 148. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. I dont have everything I want, but I have all I need. Robert Bloch. 1. 219. Everyone brings happiness to this office. I receive what I believe. 39 Funny Positive Affirmations [Feel Happier Instantly] 210. 139. What do I do for a living? 33. 19. 39. "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". Lifes biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I dont want to get out of bed. "We . Build a bridge. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Bette Midler. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. My son is now an entrepreneur. 1,132 Positive Affirmations: Your Daily List of - Develop Good Habits I can have peace, even when people irritate me. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. 250. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! I should have theme music every time I enter a room. Everyone recognizes how positive emotions can affect attitude and overall health. 27. Funny Affirmation - Etsy When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Its scary when it disappears. ". 13. "A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret. I dont worry about getting older. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 -9 years, you can believe in yourself for at least 5 minutes. I breathe in and out. 2. - Kyle Chandler. Raimonda.B. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". 229. Love your enemies. I try to see the funny side of every situation. 200. 80 Funny Quotes To Make You Smile | Shutterfly - Ideas & Inspiration "Today will be a great day". Find a short calm and peaceful moment in your day and use it for setting your mindset up for happiness. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. It just plain forms. Take some time each day to go through these funny affirmations for self-esteem and see how your mood shifts in response. Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win., 5. To conclude this list of funny affirmations, heres a few that are specifically focused around work. When nothing is going right, go left. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? 1. For beginners who still struggle with letting their voice out, I recommend starting with funny affirmations that will relax you and make you laugh. Not everyone has good taste. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. 273. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. Use this space for describing your block. May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short., See also: 120 Inspiring Wednesday Morning Blessings To Motivate You. Quotes that make no sense Photo: pexels.com (modified by author) Source: UGC. The only power you have is the word no. 272. 6. The world is my buffet, and my plate is ready to go. I give over my anxiety to God, knowing His peace will protect my heart and mind. No matter what I look like. Here's some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day. Friends buy you food. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. The 50 Funniest Inspirational Quotes - Curated Quotes I am positive. 61. Why was six scared of seven? To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations! The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. 4. When you leave work on Friday, leave work. 153. Lily Tomlin I am already great, and I am yet to reach my full potential. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. I am changing all my useless things into something productive by working on them. I can always think of something funny to say. I am just making myself capable enough to live in the moment. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. Youll probably grin or laugh if you say these affirmations aloud, thinking youre crazy. Good morning! Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Short Funny Sayings Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. So life is not always "All The Way Up", I guess. 74. "I am becoming humorous day by day.". Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. Everyone brings happiness to this office. 138. 266. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. As long as I have best friends as weird as me, I have everything., 10. Once you're feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. I wonder why spiderman narrated it the other way round. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. 64. Short people with an umbrella. - Bob Hope. 184. 1. We all have different and distinctive senses of humor thats what makes us such unique individuals. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Who cares about the future? What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Swimming trunks. 137. 241. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, Id drink it. Microchips. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Snowballs. Why is England the wettest country? They allow you to focus on the positive and what is working in your life rather than dwelling on the negative. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. 34. 249. Sincerely, yourself., 2. 43. 230. 100. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. I celebrate the highs, learn from the lows and now I release it into the past. 159. 25. 23. Because he was always spotted. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. 70. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. 39 Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life You never run out of things that can go wrong. 172. 157. I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today. 278. 20. Nobody gets out alive anyway. My liver still works. 208. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. Funny Affirmations - Etsy Affirmations are a powerful tool to overcome self-sabotaging thoughts and boost your self-esteem. 65 Funny Positive Affirmations That Work For Everyone - ThediaryforLife Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. Ann Landers, 244. I am adventurous. I am at peace with my body and accept it as it is. 199. Bill Murray, 251. A wishbone. - Catherine Pulsifer. 149. 91. Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth., 9. I am grateful for all that I have. You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. 205. 247. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. Never ask a starfish for directions. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. 46. 31. Run. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. 146. You never run out of things that can go wrong. 198. Mind blown! 135. 7. How do trees access the internet? I am naturally cool, calm, and collected. 10. 146. I will smile while I still have my teeth. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. 161. 72. 157. 179. Why is England the wettest country? I feel great. 47. 63. But then again so does . Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. Description for this block. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible.". 123. Your mind will naturally focus more on the positive things that happen that day rather than the negatives. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Frances McDormand Billy Wilder. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for! avoid carbs. 88. 1. Short Positive Affirmations "I Am" Affirmations. I intend to live forever. 58. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well., 13. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting! Sincerely, yourself. I am thankful for all the problems I dont have. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret Albert King. I am here not to compete because I know I am neither the fastest nor the smartest. So, why not team them up? Honolulu, its got everything. 69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Funny affirmations for self-esteem are one way you can boost your mood in just minutes! My cankles will hold me. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. I tell you what always catches my eye. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. Being funny increase people's tendency to connect with you and talk to you. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. I will never let anyone treat me like a yellow starburst. Decomposing. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life.

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